Les Mémoires
Babe, it's been 11 months now and life without you on earth with me is still is such a struggle. I miss you so much. You are on my mind constantly.
I 've had a few well meaning people to tell me in their own way, ( It's time to move on now, start living again and start thinking about yourself and your future.) But unfortunetly, I don't think I'll ever be able to do that. I guess it's hard for someone to understand unless they have been through the same thing and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. My therapist had told me just to take it one day at a time, so that's what I do.
I love you, Dee
Its funny, how in some moments, I know your talking through me. Mom caught me the other day saying a little something to an idiot driver, and she smiled and replied "that sounded just like Bully" And there is other times you have helped us with. Thank you.
It hurts so much to think of you and AJ and what yall would be doing right now. I remember several times you coming over to my house for some reason and leaving with my son. I loved to see you two together, both of yall would have fun.
Another amazing thing is how you lived your childhood through us. We were allways doing things; riding 4 wheelers, go carts, mountain bikes, going on family trips to Nevada, Tuffy's, Chorpus Christi, and camping. That is one of the many things we love about you. And so far, we are still keeping with our family traditions.
I would like to let everyone reading this know, if you remember being around my dad, he had this vibe or ora that he put off. As long as he wasnt mad at you. But he allways brought a smile to your face. You would allways look forward to seeing him, and for alot of us never wanted to dissapoint him. He amazed me in so many ways, he had friends that would lie to there wife before they lied to Archie. And friends who's wive's trusted my dad more than there own husband. Of course, I would allways piss him off, but niether him or I would ever hold a grudge..... Mom would kick his ass. plus I would just come over the next day with the kids.
Well I want to thank you again for being so much to us and we love you and miss you.
this may sound somewhat strange but I feel we need to tell our story as Bully laid to rest. It was myself, Weaver, Dan and Sharon and we were sharing some stories around Bully as he was lying peacefully but I am positive, we were all positive he was listening to us. Whats strange was when each time we would tell a story and we were all laughing around him, I swear on everything I believe in, Bully would actually smile several times then it was my time to say my peace with him and then I said something about how it wasnt supposed to be this way that our long lasting arrangement was suppose to happen first, he smirked then I wispered something in his ear and once again, he smiled! I wanted to share a dream I had a week before he had past also and some may not believe and thats ok...my dream went like this, I was in the water, holding a baby boy under water while I was walking. I looked up and noticed this handsome man under a waterfall speaking to an older man and I noticed the two of them smiling and laughing. They obviously knew each other by the way they were talking. Anyhow, when I was walking, still holding the baby boy under the water, he spoke to me with his eyes, while he was still speaking to the older man...He put his right index finger up to his mouth and said...."Shhh...it will be ok, it will be ok. she'll be ok".....In my heart and my soul, I believe it was Bully telling me that she, meaning Dee, will be ok and to let his loved ones know that he was with his dad and he / they were happy. Even though he had no ideal what would of happened to him that morning, after dropping his daughter off to school but I do know, he knew in his soul, it was time.....It was his time.....I was told to please let others know, he felt no pain, the light was there for him along with his dad and other family and friends...and as Laurie had stated before when she first went to him, he had a smile on his face....that says it all!
Babe,
I know it's been awhile since I've written, but I visit this site everday. We are going to Tuffy's this weekend for the Fur Festival. I think of you all the time as it is, but it's very hard to be there without you. So, I've decided to welcome my thoughts of you this weekend and try not to get too sad. I'll make a special trip to the beach in your memory, so please join me and we'll talk a walk together just like we used to.
I love you darling and I miss you so much.
Yours forever, Dee
Merry Christmas Sweetheart
I love you...Dee
Its hard to decide what to do in certain situations now that you are not here to ask for advice. I have been trying to step up and do what I think you would do or what you have told me to do. We are all faced with difficult choices and what choice we make will be with us forever. We were presented with some news today which wasn't what we all wanted to hear. So now we are faced with a decision to make tomorrow. I just hope its not to late. I know what you would do in my case, and no money in the world could bring you back. But we will do anything we can to make this guy pay. I know in my heart that you are proud of the way I have handled everything that I have done. And really, that is all that matters to me at this point.
Babe, the night's are still the hardest for me, I miss you so bad. I still have pictures of you all over the house and find myself talking to you every time I go outside or when I'm alone. I have pictures of you on my cell phone and even a picture of you at the beach on the visior in the truck. I know that your fine where you are, but it is so hard being here without you. I still can't imagine how I am supposed to go on with life without you here with me!
I found this song that was played at Bennet's funeral, Beethoven's Ode to Joy and decided to put it on your website. I know that you are right now with your Dad and all of our family members and friends that have passed on and you all are so happy and eager to meet with us again someday. That is the feeling this song gives me.
I'll always love you...Dee
buliie this is from the family we will all ways do the right thing that was to be that he pays for what he did.if it was one of us you would do it to. we love you and this is what we have to do for you so you can rest. your family loves you.we will all ways be here for you.miss you more all the time.this what it is all about we will see you agan.
we loved you when you were here and we will allways love you even tho your not here ,that is one thing i am very proud of in our family ,and that is no matter what we allways stood up or took up for each other ,madness or right or wrong , we always new what had to be done when it came to us the family.. i never got to say thank you for the beating you took for me from daddy,when he got mad at me and was going to whip me ,you stood up for me and you took the belt buckle in the head ,that left a scar,so i would'nt get hurt,people dont understand that kind of love ,or closeness,that we all have towards each other .. but that is what mad us who we are today,the only thing left to say is we will and do allways love you ,and thanks for all the things you had done for us and all the times you took beatings for us all,and everything inbetween
love allways your mother, brothers and sisters
p.s. we will be together again as a family when our time comes
Boy, what a tough week, your birthday, Thanksgiving (your favorite holiday), and nine months all at once.
For me your birthday was the toughest. Thanksgiving was okay since we all went to Brenda's house. We went down to the river walk for the Christmas lights in Bastrop on our way home and that was hard just knowing that we all went down there last year on the same day. Everyday, I realize that I'm doing something alone that we always did together.
Honey I believe that by me missing you so much that you are maybe worrying about me and not being able to rest and do whatever God has planned for you. I do not want to keep you from resting in peace. I know that it will take a while for me to go on and not feel like I'm betraying you, but I really don't want you to worry about me too much. Your mom and some of your siblings need more attention that I do at this time. I will always love you, but I also know that someday we will be together again.
I love you! Diane
I want to let you know that I am o.k. And I believe in my heart that you are o.k. I will do my best to keep you proud of me. I love you daddy
In My Mind
Somewhere in my dreams tonight
I'll see you standing there
You look at me with a smile
"Life isn't always fair"
You say you were chosen for his garden
His preciously hand picked bouquet
"God really needed me,
That's why I couldn't stay"
It's said to be that angels
Are sent from above
I've always had my angel
My brother - whose heart was filled with love
Wherever the ocean meets the sky
There will be memories of you and I
When I look up at that sky so blue
All I see are visions of you
"While there's a heart in me, you'll be a part of me." |
wishing a birthday wish on your birthday for us all,
Darling,
Happy birthday.... this has been such a hard day. I physically feel my own pain, but my heart (or whats left of it) aches for your mother, children, and family also. I want so bad for this whole nightmare to end so I can wake up and see your face and hear your voice again. I miss you so much Bully!
Wait for me, Dee
I saw this today and wanted to share it. Love Alway's, Yvonne
Sweetheart,
I'm up late tonight on the computer, Nissa is already asleep and her radio is playing gently in the background and I'm really not paying any attention to what is playing until I hear the end of this song. I know I have been asking you for little signs to let me know your with me, and when I heard these words, I knew they were from you...Sweetheart, I'll wait for you...
Of course I had no idea who sang the song, so I've spent the last hour tracking it down on MP3 and getting it loaded on this site.
PS, I love you too and it is so comforting to know now for sure that your waiting for me......See ya soon, Dee
I JUST WANTED TO STOP BY AND SHARE A FEW LITTLE THINGS WITH YOU. I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH. I THINK AT THIS POINT IN OUR LIFE'S IT IS SAFE TO SAY THAT WE ARE CONFUSED. THAT IS JUST THE LOOK I SEE ON OUR FACE'S. WE ARE HAVING TROUBLE LETTING YOU GO! I KNOW SPEAKING FOR MYSELF I DON'T EVER WANT TO LET YOU GO. I LIKE THINKING THAT YOU COULD JUST POP UP AT ANY TIME. OR JUST WISHING THAT YOU WOULD DO THAT AND THIS WOULD ALL BE SOME BIG ASS NIGHTMARE THAT WE ARE TRYING TO WAKE UP FROM. I REALLY WISH YOU WERE HERE WE NEED YOU! SO MANY THINGS ARE NOT THE SAME. BUT I KNOW YOU ARE HERE IN SPIRIT. BUT JUST WANT TO KNOW IF YOU GIVE US JUST A LIL SIGN THAT YOU ARE HERE EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE. DON'T SCARE ME OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT OK.:) WELL BULLY, YOU TOUCHED SO MANY PEOPLE WHILE YOU WERE HERE YOU HAVE NO IDEA. YOU WOULD BE SO PROUD TO HAVE KNOWN THAT YOU HAD THAT KIND OF AFFECT ON PEOPLE. JUST WANT TO SAY I AM ONE OF THE LUCKY ONE'S TO HAVE HAD SOMEONE LIKE YOU IN THEIR LIFE.....THANK YOU!
LOVE ALWAY'S YVONNE
Darling, In cleaning out our bedroom today, I found this Valentine's card that you gave me 10 days before you died. I don't remember reading it before, but I must have.
Today has been 8 mos. since you died and it still feels like it just happened. I love you baby!
Double click on the card to read it.
Hello,
I haven't written on here in a while and just was stopping by to say hey, and tell you that I know what you meant that day that this song was playing on my way to your house. I totally fealt the love that you have for Dee, I fealt it so strong it is almost hard to explain but I dont know if she understood me because all I could do is cry. And the closer I got to your house the harder I would cry and the more I fealt it. It was real strong and it was beautiful. All I know is that you love that women and I know you still watch over her. And the rest of the family. I really miss you and wish that you were still here everyday. I have so much to tell you. Your grandkid's are doin well, man how they have grown. Well I guess I will talk to you soon. You are alway's on our mind's and we miss you everyday. lot's of love, Yvonne
to bullie you was a family man i know a good pevider for your home you have a wonderful wife but the shinning light is two daughters the shimmest star in the heavons at night but you all so have a son with whitch gave you the name of grand pa two sweet girls and one fine young son and one good doughter in law gone but and allways missed by all who that love you it is a lot see you later
bullie this is one of the bad days i get mad at you and think how come you did not stay home that day i know god said it is time to come home put that day angel said to me you was gone i look at the phone and cry not bullie not bullie the good thing i got to see you and dad huging and i know you are ok i think about that and it help me have a good day we will all see you some day in time for now we come here and it helps iam not mad at you i think we get mad at what we can not fix and we cant fix this so you look over us and we will look over each of us to for now we will do the best we can and cry and lol i will talk to you later and love you forever beda
Babe - Everyday there is something I discover that you did for me and how you did it out of love instead of obligation. I really wish I would've told you more often how much I appreciated all you did.
It's been almost 8 mos. now and although time has eased up some of the constant crying, I still miss you so much.
Please continue to watch me and guide me in decisions that I must make on my own now.
I will always love you babe.....
I was here looking around on the net ,and as allways i have to go see your face , just before i go to bed ,i talk to you all the time ,If you was here you would make fun of me for doing that and you would have to tell me i needed more than just happy pills ( lol )Wich I dont..It is so freakin hard not being able to call you on the phone any more ,well that aint the reason why i am writing to you now ,I just wanted to kinda give ya some heads up about how every one is doing.. We all are just copeing and not to good at that , i just wanted to ask you to look in on willie,chet, randy and David ,they seem to be haveing a realy hard time with this , it is cause some of them had some very bad words with you and never got to say they loved you ,before all this shit happend !!!! you took care of us and looked after us so many times before ,and i know you will still ,, but just wanted to let you know that even if you have to haunt there asses (in a good way ) to make sure they are all doing well,, even iffin ya can scare them a little for me ,id like it ,,,,,lol... ok just jokeing.... just let them know you are ok ,and ease there pain ..Beda and I are ,well we come here and this is our way of copeing ,but they dont have this like we do ,you know it is cause they are stubbern ....Oh Yea, before i forget ,Mom told you she was'nt ready to go yet ,and not to bug her,see to it it dont happen for a long while ,,,iffin ya can ok till next time ............ <3<3<3<3 Angel
well i took mom to see you yesterday,she needed to very much.It has been so hard on her .. Ilet her be with you by her self ,so Idont know what all she told you but it must have been goo cause she was better when we left you. i had gone back to my truck to sit down and did here her say to you,, BUlly dont bug me ,i aint ready to go yet so dont bug me , then she said that is what you always said to her ,mom dont bug me ,and she laughed a little laugh.. ya know i aint sure if she would miss some of us as much as she misses you ,she was so close to you and depended on you every sence you was old enough to do what ever she asked of you ,and you new that , you could get so mad at her ,but she always new you loved her just as much as she loved you..we all went threw so much and i am so sure we all will still go threw much more ,but it just aint right not having you here to go threw it with all of us .... ya know something ,you allways had to stand out ,even at the cemetary you'r dam curb is bigger than any one elses around you ,(thats my bully)i want to tell ya that it looks realy good. You have opened so many eyes to so many things , and i am very proud to be your sister and to be a part of the big family that i have ,because of you we all are alot closer now ,and seem to get along alot better than before , and the reunion we had in honor of you ,actualy was a big succes, we had a big turn out of family and ,even some we didnt want to see ,but it was a big fun filled time , so i just wanted to say thanks for being my brother , even though you did like to have me do and try things just so you could laugh at me ,cuz you knew i would do it .. eight was always enough ,but now seven will do untill we are threw ,so we can be eight even if it has to be later ,and it will be again ... just look how long it took us to be together for a family picture ,so i know in my heart we will be together again ,shit ,i think i better stop now ,i am about to short out my key board ,from crying so much, oh shut up,you know you like all this attention ,,lol love YA FOREVER BULLY
Sweetheart, I just wanted to let you know how our families have stepped up to be there for your family. When Adam or any of us has a question that we would usually go to you about, we'll call one of the family... David, Brenda, Angel ,Tuffy and even Chet. All of them are eager to help him and guide us they way you would of. Even Raymond is there for us and helped us tremdously. I'm sure you are very proud of them. We are very close to all the whole family and we will be going to 2 Thanksgivings this year. Anyway, just wanted to let you know we are all coping with you being gone, it has not been easy, but all of us know we have plenty of support whenever we need it.
Love ya Baby, Dee
Sweetheart, I found this old Tammy Wynette song that is playing on this site, and it just fit the way I am feeling right now. I'm still hanging in there, taking one day at a time and missing you every step of the way.
I love you baby, Dee
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